when you know

After the election, I wanted to come here and spill all of my thoughts except that they were far from logical or coherent. I think collectively, we were all in shock and when I am in that space, I need to be quiet and to observe and to listen while gathering my wits and squaring away what I know to be true.

I'm not embarrassed to say that I was not with Hillary Clinton like many women were. I couldn't see past her crooked-ness, and folks, she is crooked with a checkered, slimy history and has made decisions that have landed her in very hot water and, as we know now, with a bad taste in the mouths of the American people. I was NOT with Donald Trump, the racist .. sexist .. misogynist .. who exemplifies the patriarchy which crushes women .. who represents the very essence of hate. I know I am in a place of privilege. I know. So when it came time to vote, I debated until the very end if I should even cast my vote. (I did). I chose to vote for the candidate who I believe would best protect my daughter's right to govern her own body and who would spread a message of peace, equality, and inclusivity. That's what it came down to for me. I am a feminist who believes that pussy is rising (tap into the pulse of that feeling ... oh, WOman, ... divine and strong, we are rising) and that I want to live in a world where love trumps hate. I don't know what life is going to look like for our country as a whole over the next four years. I don't know . . . What I do know is that my voice counts and I will use it to spread love, to inspire, to advocate, to stand up for truth and equality in whatever capacity I can.

Sometimes humans just need a witness. I am willing to be that too. I am willing to be the one who sees and listens and holds the space.

In my own process of coming to a decision and exercising my right to vote, I think about how people came to their decisions. I know that for many, it wasn't easy. I know there were houses divided over which way to vote. I know relationships were ruined over this election. I know that futures were re-routed and entire lives were irrevocably altered because of this election. I know that people were judged and belittled for their opinions and that there is a new kind of army my sister likes to call "keyboard soldiers" that is made up of people who sit behind their computers and assault their victims with hate and insults on the fucking internet.

I also know that I feel extreme fear for my African American friends, my LGBTQ family and friends, my women friends, my friends with less privilage and no voice. I feel fear every time there is a hate crime or a killing committed in the name of a God for a terrorist agenda. None of these have yet to affect me, but I deeply fear that one day this could be a reality (and sadly, this is not an irrational fear).

I find it incredibly difficult to understand how someone could vote Trump, yet there are people who I love and respect and regard as beautiful humans in my life who voted that way, and I still have mad love for them. I'm digging deep and looking for the wise lesson in that one. I'm coming close to understanding that the freedom granted to us means we will have opposing views. I think we are so wounded that we have lost sight of respecting each other's points of view. I am guilty of that too because I am flawed, but I'm working terribly hard to remedy that.

We won't get through anything together if we don't listen to one another and create space for compassion and understanding. And sometimes, that is so hard to do. I am steadily working on this.

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I did host a giveaway last week and the winner (announced yesterday on Instagram) was Jen Woos. Thank you to everyone who entered and supporting the re-opening of my shop :)

As a photographer, Bella Cirovic is curator and keeper of life's most sacred moments. Her clients have said she has a way of capturing them in instances of magic and whimsy and that her steadying presence helps them feel at home in their skin.


She witnesses stories while living her own healing adventure. Bella's photography and video work have been featured in magazines, print, books, and documentary films, including 2017 Manhattan Film Festival pick, Bright Lights by Jen Lee.

An impassioned lover of nature, Bella works with earth and plant medicine for  purposes of deep soul examination, sacred ritual, and ceremony. From this passion her enchantment​ with perfume blending was born. She now offers her handmade talismans and treasures in the form of anointing oils, elixirs, space cleansing mists, and oil concentrates in her soulful online boutique. She considers herself a light bringer, a companion for the journey who adds a playful and trusting energy to the circles she is invited to or a part of.

Bella C.


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