My word for 2017 is intimacy. This is the feeling and intention I am into my life. I want the veins of my relationships to pulse with intimacy, communion, listening, knowing, and understanding. I will trade you your text, email, private message for your voice, your laughter, your scent, your embrace, your gaze, your tears, your presence.
I invited the witchy women to my home for drinks and eats and card reading and storytelling. Sparkling raspberry lemonade, pulled pork sliders, homemade hummus, moon dessert (which is actually cannoli cookies with cannoli cream dip ... i died), vanilla / pear / clove cake. Twinkling lights. Music. I passed the questions around, kind of like a story bowl. Answer if you wish, and please wish to because I want to know you better, deeper. These women showed up with their fears and hopes on their sleeves. The room hummed with the song of belonging. This is good medicine.
And as the days pass, I think about how I can keep inviting this feeling in while staying awake and focused on my life and my surrounding. I'm reminded of being in circle last summer when Michelle and I realized we were the fire and we could burn however dimly or brightly we needed to. We temper our own flames. It's hard. It is damn hard to keep the right temperature when everyone wants to engage and share their opinions, myself included. And while we have arrived in a hot, messy free for all where everyone is a politician, I close my eyes and breathe and feel the flames that channel my energy to a place where my voice is better used. Home, in love, in service and in silence. There is intimacy in listening without speaking.
I'm showing my body a lot of love by completely eliminating: dairy, sugar, grains, beans, and alcohol. It has been and adjustment but I am on day 11 of the Whole 30 and while I thought this would be hell, I actually feel fantastic. There is a mind adjustment that had to happen for me because I am quick to think about how deprived I am (I know, fragile) when really, there is so .. so .. so .. much food that I can eat. I want to get familiar with the inner workings of how I function and really get in tune with what makes me feel physically good.
Then there is my writing, which I have long neglected. I'm dealing with some PTSD after going through all of my husband's health issues and can't seem to bring myself to the page. I wondered what would happen if I just showed up without expectation. Even if I only managed one sentence, that would be enough.
I wonder how you are doing, and what you are feeling, and which element soothes your soul at the moment? This being human thing is no joke. Do you have a word helping you get through it? Tell me what's going on with you.